.....I feel like shit.
I've been seeing nightmares every night again.
I hate myself, my way of living, my thoughts, my body, my everything...
Just... I wish I could escape this all even for a while. I want to get away from me.
And I wish I could cry.
I feel like crying and I want to cry since it might help me let these feelings out of my head... But I can't. Tears just aren't coming and I hate it. I feel so empty at the moment...
Food. I want to eat. Lots and lots of junkfood.
Maybe it could fill me up for a while... Tho I'm fat so I can't do that. I would hate myself even more if I gained weight.
My head is a mess. It's always been and it still is.
Times like these I feel just completely worthless.
I know that there's some people who love me, but I can't help but to feel like this.
My guess it's just because of my depression getting worse once again... It's actually gotten so bad all of a sudden that I've even started thinking about suicide again. I wouldn't do it tho. Not now at least.
I just hate myself.
Despise myself.
Feel sick of what I am.
...and these feelings of nothingness and worthlessness are killing me.
I don't feel like smiling at all.
....I want to cry.
Someone... Anyone...
Could you notice me...?
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